Classy, real classy

THIS is why people hate North Carolina; the Tar Holes are up by 15 points with less than 5 seconds left and Mike Copeland tries to dunk for UNC?

Nice.

Try to explain this one away, Carolina apologists.

By the way — I have absolutely no problem with the State player who knocked the crap out of Copeland. He deserved it and I’m glad Copeland was ejected when he bowed up.

Freaking Tar Heels. Can’t even win with class.

A life lesson for you Neanderthals

From a faithful bloggee who will go unnamed:

Pay attention.

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me…It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was 22, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. It had to be deliberate.

One day her “little” sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome.

She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word.

She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.” I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, “We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.”

And the moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car.

Streak for the Cash update

With two more days of “practice” before we kick in the blog portion of the contest (for valuable prizes!), here is an update of various leaders as of noon, Friday:

Longest current win streaks:

D. Pollock — 5

D. Meadows — 5

B. Davis — 5

C. Casey — 3

B. Pelletier — 3

Longest win streak (since Dec. 31):

D. Pollock — 6

B. Hanks — 6

D. Becton — 6

D. Jones — 6

D. Meadows — 5

B. Davis — 5

M. Jones — 5

F. Jones — 5

Most total wins (since Dec. 31):

D. Jones — 42

B. Hanks — 26

B. Pelletier — 25

F. Jones — 24

M. Jones — 23

Best win pct. (min. 13 games played):

D. Pollock — .750 (18-6)

M. Jones — .657 (23-12-1)

D. Meadows — .619 (13-8)

F. Jones — .615 (24-15-2)

D. Jones — .583 (42-30-2)

Most games played

D. Jones — 74

B. Hanks — 55

B. Pelletier — 53

F. Jones — 41

M. Jones — 36

Don’t forget, you can get in — FOR FREE! — and play with all your bloggy-blog friends. Try to do it before Sunday by going here. We’re up to 25 now, but the more, the merrier!

Morning News Report; Jan. 30, 2009

BLAGOJEVICH IMPEACHED

The Illiniois governor, who allegedly tried to sell President Barack Obama’s vacant U.S. Senate seat, was kicked out of office, 59-0, last night by the Illinois State Senate.

My take: It’s about time. Listen — when the people in your own party are lining up to impeach you, you’re probably guilty.

Now, throw his butt in jail and get it over with.

Of course, he’ll probably try to write a book about the whole experience and some knuckleheads will buy it.

TED HAGGARD BACK IN THE NEWS

The Rev. Ted Haggard, who was publicly anti-gay before being involuntarily outed when he was caught buying meth and hiring a male escort, is back in the news. An HBO documentary — ironically put together by Nancy Pelosi’s daughter — will air soon, showing how his life is now.

He was on Larry King Live last night; here’s the transcript.

There’s also a new accuser who is saying some pretty bad things about the reverend…

My take: The lesson drawn from this should be that no one is perfect. Everyone has skeletons in their closet — and it seems those (Haggard, Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggert, et. al) who try to point out others’ foibles are the worst offenders.

The old Biblical adage: “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” is applicable here.

DAVID WELLS CALLS JOE TORRE A PUNK

And this is what the proud New York Yankees is reduced to: former pitcher David Wells calling his former manager, Joe Torre, a “punk” after the revelation that Torre denigrates Wells in his upcoming book.

Wells also says — with a laugh — that he wouldn’t mind taking a punch at Torre.

My take: As a proud anti-Yankee, this makes me laugh. I actually want to buy this book, because it seems Torre takes swipes at everyone from Wells to A-Rod. Should be a good read.

You Yankees apologists, you going to read it?

Think this is Torre’s way of getting back at the Yanks after they didn’t honor him in the final game of Yankee Stadium video on the scoreboard?

Good for him.

The iPod shuffle

Who’s Crying Now — Journey

Don’t Do Me Like That — Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers

Gloria (Live) — The Doors

Clocks — Coldplay

Mary Jane’s Last Dance — Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers

P.S. — Our good friend and faithful bloggee Chris Kelly (Diamondheels) sent me this:

Blaze Baseball 11U will be selling Krispy Kreme doughnuts this Saturday January 31 starting at 9:15 am.  $5.00 per dozen.  There will be 3 stations at Wal-Mart and 1 station at Food Lion in La Grange.  The proceeds will help the team offset costs of a national tournament this summer at the Cal Ripken Facility in Myrtle Beach, SC.  

Please come out and support this group of players and coaches from Lenoir County.

There will be curbside sales for anyone not wanting to get out of their car.

My take: If you can support this, please do so.

Sex offender update: James Darnell Dixon

012909-sex-offender-dixon.jpg

This is James Darnell Dixon, 35, who just moved to 230 Pine Cone Street in Snow Hill from Raleigh. He was convicted of two counts of indecent liberty with a child on Oct. 2, 1997, for which he served eight months in prison.

However, Mr. Dixon was just released from prison for a laundry list of 23 other charges, including uttering and forgery. He was released around Dec. 20.

The best banned Super Bowl commercial ever

OK, since I’m on a video kick today — here is the PETA commercial that has been banned from the Super Bowl.

NOTE: This is, literally, for mature audiences only. Parental guidance is suggested (PG-13, at least):

My take: Wow. Strangely, I’m thinking about becoming a vegetarian now.

Um, not really. But what an ad!

The WORST NFL video/rap/song ever created

If you’re in the mood to lose some brain cells, take 3 minutes and watch this abomination of a YouTube video:

My take: Frankly, I don’t know quite where to start. I literally cringed about 45 times in this 3:10 of my life that I lost watching it; here’s why:

  • Unless you’re the Beastie Boys, Eminem or 3rd Bass, you shouldn’t try to rap if you’re white.
  • The Obama reference — is it just me or was that a tad bit racist?
  • Caw? I know that was a bird thing (you know — the Cardinals), but does a cardinal go, “Caw”?
  • I know they were trying to insult Troy Polamalu about a minute into it … but if you’re staring at a guy’s butt, doesn’t that make you gay, not Polamalu?
  • It’s hard to be a hard-core rapper if you’re making Sesame Street references.
  • I’m struggling to understand the breakdown of “who to tell” at the end, which includes your entire family, pets and Pokemon figures.

Geez, this is hurting my head. Watch it, then make fun of it on your own.

Morning News Report; Jan. 29, 2009

STIMULUS BILL PASSES IN HOUSE DOWN PARTISAN LINES

President Barack Obama’s $819 billion economic stimulus bill passed 244-188 last night, with all 177 Republicans in the U.S. House voting “no”, along with 11 conservative Democrats.

The bill now goes to the Senate, where the battle figures to be a bit tougher, although the Dems certainly have enough votes to pass it.

My take: Obama’s hope for conciliation between the parties met its first road bump, although one thing was determined — if he (and the Democrats, for that matter) want something to go through Congress, it’s not going to be stopped by the GOP.

NOT ENOUGH VOTES IN U.S. HOUSE TO OK DTV POSTPONEMENT

U.S. House Republicans did have enough votes to stop the digital TV postponement from Feb. 17 to June 12, although the move fell 258-168. The move passed the Senate earlier this week, but fell short in the House by 26 votes.

However, House Democrats will bring the vote back next week and the move will likely only need a majority vote.

My take: Freaking politics. I’ll say again what we all said when this was brought up earlier this week — with everything we’ve got going on, we’re worrying about TV? Our priorities are SERIOUSLY out of whack.

DOOK LOSES, TAR HOLES WIN IN FINAL SECONDS OF RESPECTIVE GAMES

The No. 1 Duke Blue Devils lost on a last-second shot at No. 4 Wake Forest, while No. 5 North Carolina hit a 3-pointer at the buzzer to win at Florida State.

My take: I was at the Kinston-C.B. Aycock game, so I missed the Dook game, but I watched the whole second half of the UNC-FSU game — and it was a barn-burner.

I don’t care what the talking heads at the four-letter network say, the ACC is the best conference in America this season. The league is literally eight teams deep (I’d leave out Maryland, N.C. State, Georgia Tech and, yes, my Cavahoos) that could make it to the Sweet 16.

The iPod shuffle

Talking In Your Sleep — The Romantics

Free Bird — Lynyrd Skynyrd

Just Like A Woman — Bob Dylan

Electrical Storm — U2

Spoonman — Soundgarden

The government stimulus package and how it affects you

From my good friend, Sean O’Leary in Charlotte:

This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment.  This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?

A. From taxpayers. Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. No, they are borrowing it from China.  Your children are expected to repay the Chinese.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money will go mostly to China.

If you spend it on gasoline, it will go mostly to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs
and Al Queda.

If you purchase a computer, it will go to Taiwan.

If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).

If you buy a foreign car, it will go to Japan and Korea or Mexico and Canada.

If you purchase prescription drugs, it will go to India.

If you purchase heroin, it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan.

If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria.

…and none of that will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America.  You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spending it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or  tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.

“The short memory of the voter is what keeps our politicians in
office.” – Will Rogers