Morning News Report; Dec. 8, 2010

ELIZABETH EDWARDS DIES

Elizabeth Edwards, the wife of former U.S. Sen. and presidential candidate (and douchebag philanderer) John Edwards, passed away yesterday at the age of 61 after a courageous battle with cancer.

My take: Well, I guess now John can marry that skank he messed around with on a clear conscience. RIP, Elizabeth.

30TH ANNIVERSARY OF JOHN LENNON’S DEATH

Today is the 30-year anniversary of the night that John Lennon was killed in front of his apartment building in New York City.

My take: Although I’m not a music elitist like Jon Dawson, I recognize the importance of Lennon and his contributions to pop music. He and The Beatles, in my opinion, are the most important and most influential music group of all time.

Of course, Bono and U2 are second.

REDSKINS CUT HAYNESWORTH

The Washington Redskins have suspended defensive end Albert Haynesworth without pay for the final four games of the season.

My take: My question — why did it take so long? I’m not sure he’s taken part in 30 plays in the team’s first 12 games of the season. Nice investment of a GUARANTEED $41 million, Redskins.

Sometimes it’s hard to be a fan, you know? At least this chapter is over. Thank God Dan Snyder has more money than sense.

The iPod shuffle

An Cat Dubh — U2

Guilty Conscience — Eminem

Message In A Bottle — The Police

In A Big Country — Big Country

I Gotta Feeling (Synth Remix) — Black Eye

P.S.: After one week, I lead Jon Dawson in our weight loss competition; I’ve lost 2.8 pounds to his 0.5 pounds. Percentage-wise, I lead 1.1 to 0.2 percent. Feel free to ridicule J-Dizzle.

P.P.S.S.: A sad day for Southern Lenoir County and one of our faithful bloggees (and a good friend of mine): Clay Howard’s father, Howard Bodell Howard, passed away at the age of 80. Clay, know that we are praying for you and your family during this tough time.

The Hanks-Dawson weight loss competition

Jon Dawson and I are having a little weight loss competition. We had our first weigh-in this morning; while we’re reticient to share what that lying, scheming scale said, we will share how much we lose over the next few months in pounds and percentage of weight every Tuesday morning. So if you’re good at algebra, you’ll be able to figure us out.

No prizes here for y’all or anything, just putting this out there so it motivates Dawson and my fat ass to lose some weight. Your encouragement is encouraged.